10 Tips on How to Save your Face and Conscience in Social Networks

1 Do not argue!

Disputes do not give birth to the truth, but kill the truth. A discussion differs from a quarrel. In a discussion the opponents are interested in each other's opinion, able to listen, they do not try to impose, but to study the discussed question. In a quarrel opponents usually do not listen to each other, but try to defend their case; statements become emotional, and dialogue, more often, deconstructive. Therefore, it is sometimes better to express your opinion laconically and concise, than to spend time and energy on the swelling conflict.

2 Timothy 2:23 «But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes». Titus 3:9 «But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain».

2 Do not write in anger or in other strong negative emotions (irritation, insult, frustration, etc).

It may calm down your emotions, but you will be sorry later about your written words. Pause, take time, and if you want to reply, please write much later, and with a cool mind.

Proverbs 19:11 «The discretion of a man deferred his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression». James 1:19,20 «Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man works not the righteousness of God». Proverbs 29:11 «A fool utters all his mind: but a wise man keeps it in until afterwards». Proverbs 12:16 «A fool's wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covers shame». Proverbs 29:22 «An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression».

3 Do not publish or forward doubtful information.

The information may be false. Use a reliable source, not the tabloid websites or questionable messages in the forums and groups. Do not rush to send an urgent message with news that is asked to be forwarded to someone else. In some cases, "news" may be distorted, outdated information.

Deuteronomy 19:15 «One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity, or for any sin, in any sin that he sins: at the mouth of two witnesses, or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall the matter be established». Proverbs 14:15 «The simple believes every word: but the prudent man looks well to his going».

4 Use your real name online - transparency will keep you from temptation.

It is much easier to behave immorally online when "secured" under a false name. Use your real name, and it will be an additional deterrent from foolish actions. Do not act in social networks in such way that you will feel shamed if it is viewed by others. It is unlikely, for example, when a married man, or a minister of the church, register in groups for adults under his own name, to flirt with females in the social network. Do not compromise your convictions!

Proverbs 22:1 «A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold». Jeremiah 23:24 «Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the LORD. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the LORD». Matthew 10:26 «Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known».

5 Behave professionally, respond respectfully even to opponents.

Do not write in a rude, arrogant tone, be polite with strangers, do not humiliate or make fun of people, even if someone made a mistake or wrote nonsense. Do not go into personals: separate sin from the sinner, misbelief from misbeliever. Do not behave too familiar, use only those names which people use while introducing themselves in the social network. Do not use dirty humor, vulgarity and ambiguous statements. Do not attack someone personally and do not reproach a person because of his nationality, sex, state of health, age, etc.

2 Timothy 2:24, 25 «And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient. In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God perhaps will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth».

6 Do not jump to conclusions and do not add fuel to the fire.

Sometimes it is hard to see the full picture of discussion in the long comment threads, so take your time before taking someone's side in a dispute based on part of the dialogue or the last posted message. Acting hastily and rashly, you run the risk of a mistake.

Proverbs 18:13 «He that answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame unto him». Proverbs 26:17 «He that passeth by, and meddles with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears». Proverbs 20:3 «It is an honor for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling».

7 Do not sort out a relationship in public if a conflict occurs.

Try to resolve the conflict privately. Do not make a public squabble, discrediting yourself and others. People in the network do not like to see conflicting friends who have the opportunity to discuss their disagreements privately.

Matthew 18:15-17 «Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican». Proverbs 25:9 «Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself; and discover not a secret to another».

8 Respect copyright.

Try not to publish someone else's materials, or deliberately not specify the source of information. Refer to the source or author, if you copy text or someone's quote. Moreover, active advertising of your own materials on other people's personal profiles in a social network is not good form.

Luke 6:31 « And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise». 1 Peter 4:15 «But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters».

9 Calmly react to criticism.

If you are criticized deservedly, have the courage to admit mistakes, and if wrongly, have the wisdom and tact to express your position without self-justification and attacking responses . Sometimes it is better to say nothing. There are exceptional cases in which provokers of conflict are to be banned, than allow endless squabbles. Do not fall into excessive use of critical words.

Proverbs 28:13«He that covers his sins shall not prosper: but who so confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy». Proverbs 15:32 «He that refuses instruction despises his own soul: but he that hears reproof gets understanding». Proverbs19:20 «Hear counsel, and receive instruction, That thou mayest be wise in thy latter end». Proverbs 29:1 «He, that being often reproved hardens his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy».

10 Do not lose reality.

The internet should not be like a deity that takes your all: conscience, time, family, friends, life. If your priorities are erroneous, the consequences will be sad. Limit your desires online, watch the time, do not click on all the banners: it is impossible to review and reply to everyone's comments. Do not live online. Life passes by! Have a day off from your network activity (Internet Sabbath).

Exodus 20:4,5 «Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me».

Denis Podorozhnyj,
«House on the Rock» ("Dom na Skale") ministry, www.domnaskale.org